There must be a law somewhere that states eating our young or just smothering them till they pass out is legal. If not, I am in need of intervention, massive alcohol intake or just fucking commit me !!!
What a fricken weekend………… I don't even know where to begin…………….
Let's see………a week ago…………….hubby Rog suddenly complains of constant pain right under his ribcage. We pass it off as heartburn…..not something he gets normally….and we do the usual antacid remedies. Nothing seems to work and eventually it gets so bad, and nothing relieves it, he has a blood test done. Gallbladder? Nope………..but the blood test results are NOT pretty……………..Off the chart readings of AST, ALT, Bilirubin. These all point to Hepatitis. Great…..He has an ultrasound done………Nothing conclusive……Next is CATscan………again nothing…..finally on Thursday blood tests for Hep come back….negative.. WHEW !!! By this time he is starting to feel perfectly fine. Still have no clue as to what's up. But now he's play germ-paranoia ! hahaha
Ever see that show MONK? The GERMOPHOBIC detective? I now sleep with Monk !!! Before the Hep tests came back the doc told him no unprotected sex. Um, yeah right. I think if he had anything I probably already got it. Little late for that now.
K, if the Hep had come back positive, I could understand but they came back negative so I'm trying to eek some sex out of Mr. Monk… haha
Then there was the mother-in-law………She came in Friday night/Sat morn. Rog decides to cook chicken on the grill for dinner Sat night. Course, we gotta feed her Sat lunch. But she don't like ANYTHING we have so he has to go get Chinese….Lo Mein. Go figure. Indian woman, from Inda………likes Chinese. OHKAY !!! ………….Dinner time starts to come around…..what would you like with the chicken, Rog? Boiled potatoes? Boring. How about mashed with gravy? Um okay. She tries it and seems to like it. Great !! Woo Hoo !! Of course he also served the rice leftover from the Chinese…hey, long as she eats, right?
Sunday Morning comes. Me and Rog go to the gym. We come back, 9am. Logan gets up and walks past the dining room table and says out loud, as only a child does "What are those? Are those her teeth?" HA HA I don't know if she heard him as she was sitting not 3 feet away ! LOL
Yup!! There, laying on the dining room table, all alone, are her TEETH !!!
K, my dad has false teeth, but he keeps them in a nice little Polident dish with a cover, in the bathroom, until he puts them back in…………….
Nope, not her. Then, strangely, like an hour later, they seem to have WALKED themselves…TOP AND BOTTOM set over to the coffee table in the livingroom !! And they are laying ON TOP of my laptop !!!! UGH !!!!!! Can I just throw up now????
I never said a word. I couldn't. All I could do was not look in that direction..
Remember I said there was a language barrier? Um, yeah. She spent 2 days talking to Rog in native India language (MALAYALAM) that only he understood. The only time she spoke to me or the kids, in somewhat understandable English, was when she needed something………like how to work the remote to the TV. *slapping self in forehead and wishing for a stiff drink* Me and kids just kinda 'existed' pretending we weren't listening??? Or pretending we ARE? I went about my normal weekend activities….what was I supposed to do? Sit on the couch and pretend to have a conversation when I had no clue as to what she was mumbling about? And that's exactly what it was. Mumbling…….I can't even explain. Strange language.
We were scheduled to go to the Sanford airport by 1pm Sunday to meet Roger's niece and her husband coming in from Scotland. Yes, they are from India, but live in Scotland, Glascow I think. So we drive 'Mummy' to the airport where she will catch a ride back to Daytona, back to Roger's brother's house in Daytona, to stay with niece, husband and 9 month old daughter..
Remember, I have not talked to Roger's brother's wife Mary in 1.5 years since the Easter fiasco of 2006, Logan's birthday farce at their house, and my outburst of truth.
Mary is from Indiana. She is whiter than I am, married to Roger's brother, Rengy. They, unlike us, are avid India food eaters. We, on the other hand, are not. "Mummy" couldn't understand why we didn't eat all this Indian food. Roger says to her "that's why they're fat!"
Roger's mother's first comment to Roger about me and the kids is that we are way too skinny. Don't we eat??? And, she expected ME to be FAT cuz I had 2 kids. Roger told her he would have kicked me out of the house if I was fat….so what's Mary's excuse??? I didn't know if I should have been flattered or not…………..
So it's Sunday, we're at the airport…Rengy and Mary are there before us…we walk up to them and neither Rengy NOR Mary makes eye contact with me, or says hello. They wouldn't have acknowledged the kids either had they not forced themselves into their faces, as kids do.
Just a bit later, Roger's mom says to me "Why you not say hello to Mary?" I was tongue-tied. This woman has no idea that the reason we aren't talking is because I spoke my mind about their treatment of me on their last visit. I stumbled with my response…something about Mary not saying hi to me either….Me and Mary and Rengy never made eye contact for the entire hour we were there…..not a single flipping word whatsoever !!!
Rengy was his incorrigible self. Complained about having to wait 15 mins for the plane to unload, then having to pay $4 for parking. OH MY GOD !!! You had enough money to drive your SUV Lexus the hour to the airport only to turn around and drive it back, when you knew that niece and hubby had a rental car of their own to drive to your house in the first place. Quit yer bitchin' asshole.
Another example of Rengy's ignorance and arrogance !!! Roger mentioned to him that Logan, who is 8, mows our lawn and Roger pays him. Rengy told Roger that he should LOOK OUT FOR THE COUNTY OFFICIALS CATCHING LOGAN MOWING THE LAWN !!! Like we're gonna get fined or thrown in jail for having our son push a lawnmower???? OHKAY !! Mr. $4 parking asshole…you PAY a neighborhood kid $25 to mow YOUR lawn !!!! Maybe YOU should check YOUR country laws??? How fricken asinine !!!!
Then on top of that…………..he brought up INSURANCE issues for Logan mowing the lawn !!! EXCUSE ME??? Roger SELLS insurance !!!!! Are you REALLY THAT FUCKING STUPID !!!????
I am in awe of all this.
And of course, to top it all off, the kids are in overdrive pain-in-the-ass mode !!!!! If I hear the words "OH MY GOD!!" one more time out of my 11 yr old's mouth I swear to GOD I will shove the nearest tree branch in my eye, puncture my fuckin brain and hope to hell it curves enough to break an ear drum on the way out !!!!! OH MY FUCKIN GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!! ha ha
Is it Monday YET???
I have to stop…I could go on for hours yet but I'm sure you are bored already………….haha
Miss you all, hoping to get back in the swing here now………………
Happy Monday !!!!
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