God , I have to pee like a racehorse………..K, that felt better………Whew……….
Sitting in my patio,,,,,,,,,beer in hand………smokes smoldering..,,,wind is blowing and it is THE most soothing thing Florida has had in a long time !!! Humidity is very low….for here..... my beer is still sweating but I drink em fast enough they don't get warm….
Waiting for Tropical Storm/Hurricane Fay to land here……….don't think it's happening……….Good thing they let school out today…..waste of a day……. Cracked a 12 at 2pm and cleaned my house top to bottom…………
I only got 2 beers left…….it's only 7:30pm………..shit……..drinking slow is not in my vocabulary…..I'm bored….hubby in bed with headache……………I could run to bar up street …..alone……..boring…. so is watching tv with Rog…..SCIFI or FOOD CHANNEL, or HISTORY or MILTARY or DISCOVERY……….or a movie he's seen 14 times already !!! Can we say Austin Powers or James Bond or Blade???? The minute I crawl into bed tho …………he'll turn his back and go to sleep on me. What's the point? Bored Here or There?
Logan had a friend sleep over last night….actually he was here from 4pm yesterday til we sent him home at 4pm today…………GOD !! GO HOME ALREADY !!! Are you VIDEOGAMED OUT YET?? He only lives across the street. His mom didn't call till late afternoon today wondering if he was okay or coming home !!!
Alexx slept at neighbors next door last night…………….Damn, ya think we could have switched out for NO kids last night???????????? No such luck. Not in my world.
Need to get my nails done.
Can't remember the last time I HAVEN"T been to the gym……a fascination with me…beer and smokes included….I still make it every single day….I love the sweat…love when the sweat drips off me, down my face, off my arms………..love my music……that drives me. I love the pumping tunes in my ears loud as they can be…..I love the burn….I love the pain……..I love the exertion……….I love adding extra pounds on and being able to do those extra few reps…….cuz it hurts…..cuz it feel SOOO good……….I love hurting the next day, knowing I did good. Adrenaline is such a wonderful high. I love that high !!
As I sit here, in a Miller Lite and Marlboro high……do I feel guilty? I should. I don't. I deserve it. It's my escape. My private paradise. MY time. Should I put it all away and go to bed? I should, in someone else's eyes, maybe. But for me, this is MY time. My zone. I did my job today.
I did gym. I went to office. I cleaned my house. I did laundry. I fed my family. I put them to bed.
It's 8pm..sun is setting over the houses…….it's a pretty pink…….no storm……….wind is slowing down…So peaceful out here. Wish I wasn't alone……….What would it be like to have a friend (aka husband) or anyone out here with me? Sitting here, have a cocktail, enjoying the peace? Never happens. I'm always here alone…sometimes I like it this way…sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to………
Last beer………..hohum……12 beers….still sober and somber……..what am I looking for that I can't find tonight?? I'll finish this beer and wander off to bed……wondering…still searching for something….but I have everything I need………….don't I? Why do I feel like I'm missing something?............
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