What’s happenin’ to mah stuff?

My birthday is coming up this month.  I will be 44 years old.  WOO HOO !!!

I’m not afraid to say my age.  I hit the gym 5 days a week and I quit smoking 3 months ago. 

I’ve never felt better.  And I would like to think that I look pretty darn MILFY for being 44, mother of two.  LOL  So THERE !

But I DO wonder what I have to look forward to in the coming years….

The night sweats have already begun.  Waking up in the middle of the night drenched is NOT sexy.

Tho I find eventually NOT having periods VERY sexy !!!

Anyway….

I’ve had to buy reading glasses. 

I’ve begun yearly mammograms.

My metabolism has slowed.

I’ve started to see my mom when I look in the mirror.  (Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you, just….you know….not what I really want to see YET !)

I’m naturally a blonde so luckily, grey hair is a bit harder to detect—and easier to hide !!    

However, the carpet is not quite as blonde as the drapes…….

(I hear there’s a dye for ‘THERE’ too !!)

 

Not so sure I want to venture there.  Might scare the hubby and give him a big ole heartattack !  He is older than me and I have to be careful.  Could be kinda embarrassing having to call 911 in THAT position !  LOL

Do people in their 60’s and 70’s still have sex?  That just can’t be pretty.  Thank goodness for light switches and bad eyesight !

So, yeah, I’m starting to get a tad concerned as to what I have to look forward to.

I’ve never seen a naked senior before.  I’m just a tad afraid of that, to be honest.

I can exercise till I’m blue in the face.  I can keep the arms, legs, ass and mid-section as toned as I can.

But even Kegels won’t keep “things” from drooping or sagging, just a little.  Ya think?

I hear there’s something called ‘dryness’ ?  HUH?  You telling me that one day I’m NOT gonna be dripping with passion and horniness?  Guess I better start stocking up…. 

That stuff could get spendy….can I just use, like salad oil, or something?  I’ve read that EVOO is very good for you…….Talk about ‘tossin’ the salad’ !!  LOLOL

And what, praytell, is gonna  happen to my hubby’s junk?????  That stuff gonna start to hang down there between his knees?                    

Pretty flowers, huh? 

Well, maybe his shit won’t be lonely down there, being that might be where my nipples be hangin’ out !!

What else do I have to look forward to???  I’m not sure I”m liking this aging thing at all !!!