Care For A Cigar, Ma’ am?

Put a group of, say 5,6 girls, round a table and ask how many of them have had one.

Or even SEEN one.

Let alone TOUCHED one. EW !!

I’m betting you could knit a scarf with the number of raised hands.

Course, this might differ depending on the geographical location of said gathering. I never saw one, or heard of anyone seeing one while living in North ‘Dakota.

And we all know how news travels in small towns. If there WAS one, I would have heard about it ! (Or seen it in person !!)

Anyhoo, back to where I was headed here…..(Ha Ha…..headed,…or Beheaded….LOLOL) Oh yeah….

I didn’t see my first one till round 1995 I think. And thank god I was drunk the first time. I didn’t even realize I had one at the time !

So you can imagine my gawking shock when I ran into it head-on the next morning ! (tee hee I said ‘head’ again ! LOL *snicker*)

I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with it. Or if I even WANTED to do anything with it. I mean, look at it !!!

Thank God this seemed to only be a temporary condition. It quickly outgrew it’s turtleneck sweater and appeared to be ‘normal’ again. Whew !

Okay, I wasn’t really THAT dumb or naive, but it was still a bit of a shock. It was hard not to stare when in it’s relaxed state. Just laying there, staring back at you with that wrinkly, droopy eye.

It was kinda funny looking. I mean, it REALLY DID look like a cigar ! I’m not kidding !! Eventually we started making ‘smoking’ jokes when referring to blowjobs.

And I eventually figured out what to do with it. DUH !!

I smoked da bitch !!

And it would make me giggle alittle when I would pull the skin up over it and stretching it out as far as I dared. Kinda like how ya stretch a balloon out before ya blow it up so ya don’t explode your cheeks. LOL (without hurting him, of course, Gees !).

Oh good grief guys! Don’t tell me you ain’t had your girl on her back, you grabbed a nipple between your fingers and playfully pulled straight up, stretching her boob out, kinda like a picking up a water balloon !! LOLOL

(Girls, you know what I’m talking about ! Please say you do so I don’t look like an idiot here.)

Yeah, well, we eventually broke up. And it had nothing to do with the fact that his penis looked like an authentic Cuban Montecristo.

Nor did it have anything to do with its performance, cuz Lord, that cigar could SMOKE !!!

(Course, it could have something to do with that whole stretching the skin out thing…never thought of that…)

Learn sumpthin’ new every day, huh?