Have I Forgotten Again?????

I must be getting old. Correction: oldER. There IS a difference, you know !! I’d tell ya what it is, but I can’t remember…….
I can’t remember ANYTHING anymore !!
I’m okay with the long term stuff….I can remember back to 1969 ! But yesterday? Fergitaboutit !!
I was sitting on the shitter yesterday… (not actually shittin’, but I was sittin’, cuz that’s how us girls roll) Anyway, I was sitting there and OF COURSE ! Cuz it was ME !! The toilet paper roll was empty-again. Never fails. So I did the considerate thing, I put a new roll on the rolly thingy.
Then it hit me….. I could have SWORN that I just did that like 2 hours ago !!!! Didn’t I? Or was it the day before? I sat a bit longer than necessary, to ponder WHEN it was exactly that I changed the toilet paper thingy last.
This still bugs me today…that was yesterday, remember? Or was it last week?
So, it’s like 2 in the afternoon. I suddenly can’t remember if I showered that morning. Well, I KNOW that I did. I just can’t remember actually DOING it ! Did I shave my legs too????
My kids. If they paid attention they could bilk me for more than AIG !
“Mom, remember yesterday I told you I needed $10 for the school field trip?” Umm…….no…………….”But I need it TODAY!” ……I stand there rackin’ my brain trying to remember…….hands over cash to kid…..

I clean a lot. And I find I can’t remember WHERE I cleaned things to.
Like-- where the hell did I put BOB !!! I have lost BOB !! I’m sure I hid him in a new place, so the kids wouldn’t find him…but now I can’t find him either !!!
Speaking of BOB, sometimes I can’t remember having sex. (Not with BOB, with the husband !!) Course, this usually only happens when I’ve been drinking. But STILL !!! How do you NOT remember getting pummeled, impaled and pounded? Don’t get me wrong. It’s good sex…not forgetable…but it’s kinda freaky when ya bug the husband about “when he’s gonna put out” and he says to you “you got it last night !!”.
Ummmm………………okaaaayyy……if you say so…….rackin’ brain again….
But I’m getting’ really good at fakin’ it……..not the sex …. Jeesh !!! Who fakes THAT !?!!?
Just please, tell me this is memory shit is only temporary and one day I’ll wake up and remember where BOB is !!!