Emails Make Great Blogs !

I was typing this email to my dearest friend and couldn’t resist the idea that as I never have anything to say in blogs……………this might make for a chuckle or two from some of my twisted/bored friends…………..

Jo,

Ha Ha sorry the beer was short lived tonight....rog marinated the damn jerk chicken for 2 days...then he had to cut his damn green beans just right, Alexx invited Fernanda over for dinner......Logan had homework...which Rog just has NO inclination of how to do at a 3rd grade level.....and my kitchen floor was a slophouse that needed mopping a week ago !!!

I swear to God, I don't know how this place could possibly run if I weren't here !!!! It's chaos when I AM here !! LOL

Rog promised me sex last night but as soon as I switched the channel from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, no less, to Desperate Housewives, he rolled over and went to sleep. Imagine that. Go figure. HELLO??? DVR????? Recording????? Oh NO! How silly of me !! You have to take your NAP first !!!!!!!!!!!!

It's 8:33 adn kids are in bed (alexx crashed an hour ago on her own...guess all those late night sleep overs are catching up with her), kitchen is cleaned up, floors are mopped, and Rog just went to bed...go figure............to what? Military Channel, Discovery Channel and 3 Whatever Movies are on.........ALL at the SAME time !! Flip Flip Flip....OMFG !!! LOL

I am in my patio..........cold beer.........cool breeze adn enjoying finally, a days peace and quiet......

Tomorrow afternoon I have to recaulk our bath so we can go back to using that........or I have to rig the shower curtain in the hall bath from falling down daily so we can continue to use that one until "God Roger" "gets around" to caulking our bath.......................I guess Queen Vicki might as well do it and get it done with !! Could be Easter if I let him 'get around' to it ! LOL

Ya want something done round here ya gotta do it yerself !! LOL If I left it to the prison guard it would never get done !

How the hell am I supposed to quit smoking when I have to drink to maintain my sanity in this asylum?????? For you never-smokers......for us smokers/drinkers...it's like bread and butter...........they go together and it's hard to have one without the other..........try a spoonful of butter and no bread!!!! K, now repeat. and repeat. and repeat....................Kinda like smoking without a beer !!! Yah Yah, you quitters, just shut the hell up !!! Don't want to hear it..............PLLLLBBBBBBBB Puff Puff

See, drinking makes the hours of 3-6pm go faster.......and I get a SHITLOAD of SHIT done round here when I drink AND work....course, when I drink..........he tends to cut off my sex........("I can smell the wine coming out of your pores!!!" LOLOLOL) which affects my sanity........which causes me to drink more............which.....................CHRIST......this is just a vicious circle..................I’m gonna need more batteries !!!!!

I'm not pissed......laughing actually....had enough beer already. puff puff tee hee ("I can smell the beer coming out of your pores!!") LOL

Yeah, just wait till the Jerk Chicken comes out from somewhere too !!!! Ever play Covered Wagon????? LOL Fart and pull the covers over their head !! LOLOL

Yup, so here I am……….now 9:17pm…….wondering if it’s worth going to be for….or will I get the “roll over and go to sleep” move and I’m left with the remote till God hours of the morning…..again……..Which ain’t all bad, mind you…………course…the constant “can ya turn that down a bit” kinda ruins the show…………considering he has NO problem falling asleep to the TV at full volume, except he can’t sleep to it if I’m watching it !!!

Did I tell you that we watch ALL our tv with the closed captions on???? YUP !! Done it for 12 years now. I don’t know how to watch tv any other way…. Alexx slept in our bedroom as a baby and so not to wake her we put the closed captions on and we have never shut them off………12 years later !!!! Bugs the hell out of the kids……….and anyone else that happens to come over, once in a blue moon… LOL

So, we bought a new TV for the bedroom a year ago, and wouldn’t ya know it…it has an earphone plug jacky thing !!! So, if he really gets bugged I just plug em in and crank that volume high as I want !!! Cord stretched across the bedroom. (Course, I had to move the TV closer last week cuz, it seems, I can’t read the ‘Guide’ anymore….fricken old age !!!) But I can hear REAL good with the earplugs in !!! LOL

Pisses him off at 3 am when he wakes up and wants to watch a bit of tv and has to get up to UNplug the plug so HE can HEAR the tv……….Mind you, no bother if it keeps ME awake !!!!! WTF????

Another beer please…….puff puff…………….LOL

What else?????????????...............Hmmmm……………

So, is Princess Blogger married yet??? Has anyone heard from her or did I miss a blog of hers in my bullitens? How the hell do you spell bullitens? Bulitens? Bulettins? God, I can’t get that word right for nuthin !!! lol

So I was talking to my friend Jo, where this blog originated, and we were discussing beer.. DUH!! (If we aint’ talking about sex, or unwanted hair, or men or..sex) I prefer my beer in bottles……..but they take up so damn much room in my fridge! And so I get cans……….and Logan likes to shoot the empties with his airsoft gun……….Jo says that bottles are more expensive up there (Fargo, Frozen Tundra, North Dakota). My cans and bottles are the same price down here………….what up with that??? Not that I’m complaining or anything…….and don’t go getting all hick on my ass saying that cans are all redneck and shit !!! I grew up on cans….after 25 years of drinking, do you think I give a rats ass what kinda container it comes in???? It’s all about what fits in my fridge and what don’t fill up my recycle bin before Thursday !!! Get your priorities straight !!!

Ya think Rog is snoring yet?????????? It’s 9:33 now……Is it safe to enter the cave yet? LOLOL

God, now I gotta SNEAK in and VERY quietly open the fridge, and VERY quietly pull out another CAN of beer…………see!!! Cans are QUIETER TOO !!!! No clanging of the glass !!!! Course, ya gotta smother that PSHHHAWWW of the poptop, but that’s a piece of cake !!

How long till he comes looking for me…………….?? Tee hee