Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sexy Secrets !!

Pamela (sorry, clueless as how to link within a blog, so find her in my friends) wrote this really cool blog about "10+ Sexy Things" about her. And, besides being pretty entertaining and eye-opening, it got my mind thinking about my own sexy history. I don't know if mine are as wild and crazy as her's, but here goes…



1. I lost my virginity in the backseat of a '65 Mustang, ½ mile from my parents house. I was 15. Darin was a 'bad boy', according to my parents. He was wrestler, nice hard body ! He was a senior, I was a sophomore. I was 15. Of course I was drunk ! And I remember, it hurt like hell…even with all the Miller High Life's to numb.







When my dad found out he didn't talk to me for three months. He was devastated. Can't say I blame him, now being a parent of a daughter myself.




2. Darin also introduced me to blowjobs and swallowing. In a '65 Mustang there ain't a lot of room to move, so I really didn't have much of a choice BUT to swallow. For practice in perfecting my newly discovered 'talent' I would swallow raw hotdogs….WHOLE. I think I would gag if I tried that today !!







3. I once slept with a guy that my younger sister had slept with. And he said we fuck the same way. NOT something I needed, or cared, to know.




4. My 20's were a blur. A drunken, sex-filled blur. I never actually dated the guys, but we would have mini affairs, lasting about 6 months each. They were my guaranteed booty hook-ups after the bars closed. I miss those boys. Tee Hee ! Paul, Leroy, Chad, Cary, and Cary's brother…..what WAS HIS name….?






5. The phrase "once you go black, you never go back" isn't true. I did a Jamaican once, k, twice…won't go back. LOL Wasn't impressed. He was long enough, but way to skinny. What's the phrase? "Like throwing a pencil down a hallway"?







6. I've been married 3 times. First one was my high school sweetheart. He was a virgin till I got ahold of him in his senior year. He was Darin's classmate. After Darin opened my eyes to the world of orgasms I was hooked and had to pass my knowledge on to Tim.




7. For my 18th birthday I put myself on the pill. Fourteen years later I had my first pill-baby. And 2 years later I had my second. Then I got smart. I got my tubes tied.




8. I've had crabs twice. Most miserable thing EVER !!! Talk about embarrassing itching !! LOL The first time I discovered them I managed to scratch one off and it's legs were still moving !!! GROSS OR WHAT !!!!







9. I've never done a chick. But my life ain't over YET !! It's my number one fantasy. Hubby won't share her with me so I may have to fulfill that one on my own. Shhhh !!! But I would LOVE to watch him do her too ! Is that too bizarre? I get hot just thinking about it. LOL




10. I think threesomes are over-rated. Granted I haven't done the GBG thing, but with two guys there are just too many round pegs in round holes. Hard to concentrate on one end with your mouth full on the other end. (Same thing with the whole 69 thing…not a fan, for the same reason) Maybe I was just too young at the time….maybe I need to revisit the threesome arena………….K, probly not. Hubby won't go for that either. LOL




11. I want sex every day. Not a big fan of morning sex but I'll take it if I can get it. Every day. Hubby can't keep up. I get turned down more often than not. I don't know what is wrong with these "frigid" wives that men keep complaining about. They just not right in the head !! Maybe the men just plain suck in bed?




12. Hell yeah I've faked it !! Every chick has !! And if they tell you they haven't, they're lying. Most times it's not cuz the guy sucks, it's mostly cuz it just ain't working for me that time and I want you to get off, then just get OFF. And if the guy can't tell the difference…either he really is that out of touch or I'm just that fucking good at it !! LOL Kudos tho for the guy wanting me to cum first…there, I just made him feel good. Everybody's happy.







13. I like to be on the bottom. There's just something about the weight of a man on me. And he seems to hit all the good spots there. So no matter how we start out, I like to finish looking up when I spew "Oh God" LOL




14. When my daughter was around 2 she climbed up on Daddy and said "Play Horsey, Daddy". Yup, I was on the bottom then too. It was too funny, we had to stop. LOL




15. I never got into drugs. I'm more of a drunk. I have done pot, hash, speed and shrooms. Shrooms are fun! Never laughed so hard at wallpaper in my life !!!



I lived with a coke-head once…until he came home one night and told me his paycheck was gone to his dealer. I had him committed into rehab 6 hours later and found out he had been cheating on my too. DUH?! He's now married to that skank and they have 2 kids. I once came home to find a teddy bear he had given me hanging from the ceiling with the vacuum cord wrapped around its neck. That scared me…..




He came home coked up one night and insisted on sex. While he was trying to violate me with his dirty, filthy, polluted body I grabbed him by the balls and squeezed as hard as I could and wouldn't let go. The look in his eyes was murderous. I was scared to death. I managed to get him outside and then locked him out, in his underwear, in the dead of a North Dakota winter.




K, right now that's what I can come up with. I'm sure there's more that I fail to remember at this time in my life…..hard to think of all the shit I did 20 years ago! LOL

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