I was asked today what turned me on and off sexually, and what my limits were. I clicked Reply thinking I was gonna just jot them down like a damn grocery list.
You'd think after almost 30 years of getting laid I would be able to list what gets me wet and what makes me rather stick a fork in my eye! It's not as easy as it sounds. LOL
There I sat, staring at this blank email reply. WTF?!?! Was I a fricken idiot that I couldn't come up with anything –hot or not !?
So I tried to remember every episode of bad sex I ever had……..I couldn't, cuz if it DID suck, I was too drunk to remember it. Isn't it nice how alcohol will do that for ya? LOL
So then I decided that I was just gonna have to have sex to find the answers. So I did. Right there, in the chair, at the computer. I had mind-blowing pretend sex. LOLOL Okay, it wasn't mind-blowing, but I DID add a few items to my grocery list of 'What's Hot' and "What's Not".
Now, on to the Limits part….. I had to think if anyone had actually tried to push my sexual limits........I couldn't........and come to think of it, I think most times it was probably MY idea in the first place !! LOL And knowing me, even if it WAS a bit over the line, I probably did it anyway ! Hell, I"ll try anything once, twice if ya throw in a shot of Jack !
Limits…….hmmmmmmmmm….can you tie me up and whip me with chains? Probly not. Can you spank me? Ehhhhh again with the pain issue………Can we play with food? HELL YEAH ! Threesomes, foursomes, moresomes? More the merrier !!
And so, after intense consideration, I came to the conclusion that there is little that I wouldn't at least try. However, the one limit I have to, MUST, insist upon, is NO PAIN. No whips, chains, spanking, or hot candle wax drippings.
And no ramming my head down on the damn thing !! THAT FUCKING HURTS !!!! You wanna fuck a lung then find somebody else cuz you ain't fucking mine !!
And to my dear friend who requested my list……….I've got it working and you'll have it shortly !!!<
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