Went out with one of my BFF’s the other night. She needed an ear and shoulder to vent some boyfriend shit on.
Not one of my favorite things to do, but..
If it required ingesting cold beer some where other than home, I was bringing all my ears !
BFF has a BF of about 2 years. BF has a BFF named “Sasquatch” (SAS). He’s not really as big as the actual Sasquatch, but he’s a good sized dude.
And he’s got some crrraazzzzy eyes. He be lookin at , talking to ya and one eye would just wander off in a direction all it’s own. Freaks a bitch the fuck OUT !
Me and the BF and SAS never really got along. I was always just outside their circle.
See, BFF was married to EX. At the same time BFF, EX and the Now BF and SAS were all friends. I was friends with BFF only. The EX and Now BF are no longer BFF’s, for obvious reasons.
Now that BFF and the BF are together I have gotten to know the BF and he’s pretty cool. And I even hung out with the SAS one night and he was pretty cool.
SAS is married with children now. And I guess that’s not going so well.
So, me and BFF are chatting over some Happy Hour YingLings, she’s ranting on about the latest drunken antics of the BF. Never a dull moment in her life !
She had come home at 4pm one day to find BF and SAS totally messed up. It seems that SAS and the wife were having major issues…(she backed her car into a ditch trying to back around his car that he deliberately parked behind her so she couldn’t leave, or something like that)
Anyway, SAS’s wife thinks he’s cheating on her. I don’t know if he is or not. Only met the guy one night in the past 5 years, remember?
BFF is laughing so hard that she is snorting beer out her nose and trying to tell me something that apparently I need to know.
SAS’s wife thinks he’s cheating. Yeah. Okay. I got that part…………….(I wait for the rest……………….)
(Wait for it…….)
(Wait for it……..)
WITH YOU !!
I ain’t never met SAS’s wife !!! I didn’t even know he was married until a couple weeks ago. I ain’t seen SAS in 5 years and somehow we’re sleeping together???
How does she even know who I am? Or that I even exist in the first damn place???
I’m FBooked with BFF and BF only.
How does WIFE connect ME to SAS???
And then BFF says thru her nose full of beer……………
“And SAS says that you’re probly one crazy ass bitch in the sack !!”
I spit my mouthful of beer right back into her face. And I think I peed my pants a little too. LOL
(I’m thinking that the previous HH conversations that me and BFF have had in the presence of BF were relayed to SAS by the BF and apparently I have been the topic of discussion between them.)
Any good HH’er knows that by Hour Two, conversation will always revert to the standard HH topic…SEX. And by Hour Two, there is no such thing as TMI. LOL