I am SOO excited………and scared……..and nervous.

This summer will be like no other we’ve ever had……

Usually every summer we load our asses up and make the long 12 hour trip, doorstep to doorstep, back home. To North Dakota. Of these 12 hours, we spend a whopping 5 in the air. The other 7 hours are spent in airports or driving to them, or driving the 3 hours from Souix Falls to Wahpeton (that’s "wah-pe-ton" that’s Souix for ’Leaf Village") Yup, that’s Main Street, there’s I think, 4 stoplights the length end to end.

Anyway, this year will be different. Oh, we’re going up there. But I’m coming back….ALONE !!!!

For the first time in 11 years, that’s how old Alexx is, she and her 8 yr old brother, Logan, will be spending 3 weeks in ND alone, with my family. They will be bed-hopping between my 2 sisters and my folks.

There are things to do in rural communities that you can’t do in any other place. If you’ve never been and never done, you really need to take a trip to the upper Mid-west. Experience yourself some REAL simple living. Yes, they have running water, electricity and toilet paper…..HighSpeed Internet, now THAT might be iffy. My mom is still on dialup, cuz highspeed isnt’ available in her area. And I leave my cell in Florida, cuz it don’t work in ND. TMobile hasn’t traveled there yet either.

Anyway, the kids, they can’t wait. They want to leave tomorrow. They swear they ain’t gonna miss me.

K, we’ll see.

But wait !! What about ME?????? Am I gonna miss em? Pssshaww !

What do I GET to do without them??? What DO parents do when their kids are gone for days, or weeks, at a time??

It’s been almost 12 years since I’ve been alone with Rog for any extended period of time. "Extended" means any period of time over 16 hours (about how long a sleepover lasts)

OH MY GOD !!! Can you imagine !!!???? I just figured it out !!! This is what I get to do while they are gone:

Take a shit without someone walking in mid-turd.
Take a shower without someone trying to carry on a conversation with me thru the door while underwater.
Watch TV that does NOT have Spongebob or Jimmy Neutron in the title
Listen to music that that does NOT have "The Best of Both Worlds" in it
Do Happy Hour when Happy Hour IS--without having to pick a kid up somewhere first, then having to do happy hour at home while finishing yesterday’s laundry
Have sex with my husband, without waiting for the kids to be in bed
Have sex with my husband, ANYWHERE in the house I want to, ANYTIME I want to
Sleep in, without having to get up to pour the milk in the CoCo Puffs- cuz it’s a new jug.
Go to an ADULT movie, one rated at least PG and not have to explain all the funny parts.

I won’t know how to act. I’ve never done this before. What if I can’t do it? What if I get so lonesome for my kids I cry myself to sleep every night for 3 weeks?

Aw, shit…..with 21 Happy Hours to attend…..who gonna have time to cry? I’ll be too drunk to realize I came home to an empty house !!!! And imagine all the drunk sex I get to have !!
Oh this gonna be a GOOD summer !!!